Shopkeeper T-Shirts

'I bought this energy saving bulb in your shop, but it doesn't work.'

'He says we have to change our name to the Kilo Shop.'

'Hello, Trading Standards...I've taken delivery of goods that may not be genuine.'

Employees must wash hands.

Fresh Pears / Ripe Plums / Juicy Gossip

'You still don't understand the metric system do you?'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

What's wrong with those fish? Long time, no sea!

'Would you like a piece of advice, Mr. Salmonella?'

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'Do you have any other form of I.D. besides your head on a pound note?'

Books: Closed Down Due To Exasperation.

'This clock you sold me loses fifteen minutes every hour!'

'Let's call it even; you sell me the phony Louis Vuitton and I'll pay for it with this phony hundred.'

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

Priceless antiques priced to sell!

'I realized there was no store in the neighborhood where you could biy a book and you could also buy a pot.'

'Hey!! Those aren't free you know!!'

Bull in china shop, "Err, I don't think you are quite right for the job."

'Mister Benn.'

Writers's Block - Temporary/Permanent.

'Everybody needs candy. Everybody needs stationery. Everybody needs microcomputers.'

"No, thanks. I'm just looting."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

The Salvador Deli.

'The tough part of making a living is that you have to do it all over again tomorrow!'

Small store loses out to glossy big store

"Chicken? Sorry he's gone for a walk."

"That rat trap you sold me is no good. My husband hasn't been near it!"

"Your lease is up" threatening letter.

The Medical Student

Man eating a bad oyster

Unknown