Quirky Shopkeeper Gifts

Cash-For-Soul Shop

SALE

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Unfinished Funiture Store.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Stationery Shop

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'I'm sorry, sir, but our happy hour doesn't start for another fifteen minutes.'

Unusual Offers

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

"I'd say business was brisk."

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Please enter your pin now.'

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

'Triple-headed razors?... Aisle seven.'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'Uh-oh.'

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

"Does it come with magnets?"

Jumble Sale

'But what do you sell?'

Down on Her.

Marketing - Learn from customers' buying patterns...

Mom $50 Pop $35