Quirky Boss Gifts

'Now, now, Mancini, we all have to start somewhere!'

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Bob's decision to replace the sales team with hotcakes really paid off.

Self-Employment

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

Cat Boss

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"Would someone dim the lights? I'm about to launch into the paranoid and conspiratorial portion of my report."

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

Selling salt lick lollipops to reindeers.

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

'Shred that last mental note I gave you.'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

Toilet Tissue Typist.

"My records show we sent your bonus. Have you looked on your roof?"

Working from home.

"This one is less distracting."

'If a raise is what you want, Halverson, a raise is what you get!'

'You'll find, Smith, that there's a very relaxed atmosphere in this office.'