Quirky Office Worker Gifts

"Can I call you back? I'm with a piece of string."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

'What I particularly like about this baby is this little drawer where I can keep my lunch.'

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

Sometimes my noise-canceling headphones work better when I put them on other people.

"Welcome to the company. Here's your cubicle."

"Nancy, could you schedule in some time for me to wildly run around my office for no reason?"

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'I hope you replace your divots.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

Jack-in-the-Box Enterprises.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

Self-Employment

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Play Ball!

"This one is less distracting."

Toilet Tissue Typist.