Quirky Office Colleague Gifts

"This one is less distracting."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'Botox.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Play Ball!

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Toilet Tissue Typist.

Working from home.

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

'The printer repair guy.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

"Whinge, whinge whinge! Would it kill you to crack a smile? It's no wonder they call you Mona!"

"Woodpecker gets an office job."