Quirky Officemate Gifts

"So there’s no way to take her off desk duty?”

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'I hope you replace your divots.'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

Cat Boss

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

'Botox.'

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

"I hope your day is going bad."

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

"Damn it, Bershire, I've told you to never call me when I'm in my executive ball pit!"

"This one is less distracting."

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Working from home.

Toilet Tissue Typist.

Play Ball!

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

'The printer repair guy.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

"Woodpecker gets an office job."