Quirky Bureaucrat Gifts

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

"This one is less distracting."

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Play Ball!

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

Working from home.

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

'The printer repair guy.'

'When she grows up she wants to be a nurse and do filing.'

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

You don't have to be crazy to work here. WE CAN TRAIN YOU.

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'

'How about this one? †'Everybody has to wear plaid socks on Tuesdays.''

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"