Bubbly Bureaucrat Gifts

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

Wolf Reintroduction.

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

MI5 Press Office

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Director: US Space Research.

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

Auditor General.

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

Washington Monuments

'I'll need four character references.'

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

'You like it? I'm getting a government grant for Phase 2.'

Man at desk in 'Space research'. His in and out boxes are labelled 'inner' and 'outer'.

"We have all kinds of Regulatory Guidelines floating around."

Heaven Security Checks.

'Do you want to see the folks from Prague all at once?' - 'No - separate Czechs, please.'

"Congratulations Dave, after a through vetting process, we've selected you for the promotion."

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

Federal Department of Disproportionate Force.

'When she grows up she wants to be a nurse and do filing.'