Unlikely Bureaucrat Enthusiast Gifts

'When she grows up she wants to be a nurse and do filing.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"Ticket and passport, please."

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

MI5 Press Office

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Director: US Space Research.

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

Auditor General.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

Washington Monuments

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

"We have all kinds of Regulatory Guidelines floating around."

Federal Department of Disproportionate Force.

'I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us for a thousand years, but your sins are tax-deductible.'

'You've over simplified the accident book.'

"Congratulations Dave, after a through vetting process, we've selected you for the promotion."

"Did you do all of this for me?"