Bureaucracy Enthusiasts Gifts

"Mr. Estes is unavailable. He's still pending."

"We shortened the guidelines."

"Your virginity! There's not a lot we can do about that."

'The government focus group found the 'suicide' concept too depressing...so they want to refer to it as an 'after-life opportunities programme'!'

'According to this, you're out of compliance with EVERYTHING!'

If Darwinism is about survival and procreation...it's working for US!

'How about this one? †'Everybody has to wear plaid socks on Tuesdays.''

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

Wolf Reintroduction.

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

MI5 Press Office

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Director: US Space Research.

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

Auditor General.

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

Washington Monuments

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'