Bureaucracy Aficionado Gifts

The Man Who Never Had a Tax Mix-Up, Bungle, or Situation.

Auditor General.

'The board voted 8-2 to wish you a speedy recovery.'

'Tom passed a major bench mark today. His official file is now taller than him.'

"Now, there are just a few more forms for you to sign, and then we're done!"

IRS. In case of fire, break glass and complete form 7931C.

Tax Inspector - "Tell him his partner is here."

"The bad news is that no one read our new health and safety guidelines but the GOOD news is they didn't read them in 37 languages!"

'Your Congressman is a very good friend of yours? Excellent! -- We'll audit him, too!'

'Do you want to see the folks from Prague all at once?' - 'No - separate Czechs, please.'

Federal Department of Disproportionate Force.

'The outskirts of Washington D.C.'

MI5 Press Office

"No, no - first you fill out the customer evaluation form, and THEN we'll do the audit."

Department of Organised Crime

"Remember, report itemized deductions on Schedule A on your federal form 1040."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form AC/765c, criticl interventions are CV/U657's and..."

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

Wolf Reintroduction.

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

Liberties: civil and uncivil.

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

Director: US Space Research.

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

"Y formerly Department of Government Efficiency"

Washington Monuments