Bureaucracy Enthusiast Gifts

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

Man in office notices file cabinet placed in front of the door to the Planning Department.

'I'd like you to endorse my lifestyle.'

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

'I tripped over a box of red tape.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

'Sir, to receive an application form, you have to fill out this application form.'

Accident - 'Let me through! I'm going to organise a summit to draw up an action plan...!'

Heaven's IN/OUT filing.

Director: US Space Research.

'This the Assistant to the deputy parliamentary undersecretary for health...he'll be responsible for your accessing a positive care outcome.'

'I hear E.U. Health and Safety wants to shut us down.'

'More bad news I'm afraid, Humpty... you're not entitled to incapacity benefit.'

Dept of statistics: 'vital...nonessential'.

"We only do gentle embellishment here. Go down the hall and turn right for the division of bald-faced lies."

'I didn't realize Harry was a worthless scumbag of a bastard until the third date when he mentioned he worked for the IRS.'

Clerical Officer

'He'll see you now.'

'I want to cash this gift certificate. I'll never use it.'

'Please pick up my lunch order and run it by legal before you call it into the luncheonette.'

'We'll need your name, address, and accounting firm you worked for.'

"I wonder if you are aware that responsibility in this instance lies primarily with the solicitor?"

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Washington Monuments

"No, this is the department for obfuscation, confusion, prevarication and hindrance..."

"Congratulations Dave, after a through vetting process, we've selected you for the promotion."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single travel requisition."

'This is the last Pharaoh. Note he's wrapped in red tape.'

'Let's vote on the proposed merger with the IRS...'

'I'm sorry, sir, youll have to go to Hold-ups.'

'On behalf of our cabin crew who have voted in favour of strike action over Christmas. . . kindly fill out this form. Please send us your questions and comments about how the strike has effected your plans, ruined your holiday. . .'

'Oh, yeah! My dad's a government bureaucrat too, and he's more entrenched than your dad!'

Policeman tells dying man to move along.

It is a big box for 5 pencils, but it includes the 24 page operator's manual, DVD instructional video and a directory of tech-rep hotline numbers.

'By the time I read him his Miranda Rights in 6 different languages, he escaped!'