Whimsical Bureaucrat Gifts

'This is my new inbox.'

Quality Control

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"Whether we refer to them as lakes or ponds, it's mere semantics."

Wolf Reintroduction.

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

"You're a bureaucrat, Ed. What do you mean you hate paperwork?"

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

Excessive Paperwork

God's Office.

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

'We're downsizing the Pentagon into a triangle.'

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

Department of Infrastructure

Department of Sanitation: In Bin and Out Bin.

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

'I'll need four character references.'

Insufficient Postage

Congratulations on winning the Inland Revenue Fiction Award.

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

I see from this you were very good at organising office parties.

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

The new contract will give you much more power over your future...so here are some guidelines as to how you'll be allowed to use it!'

'I'm sorry, sir, this is the department of Immediate Dissatisfaction. Your appointment is with the Bureau of Eternal Frustration.'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

A dart board for the Federal Reserve's planning policy?

'Of course you don't remember agreeing to see me regarding my time machine. You made the appointment next week.'