Quirky Office Mate Gifts

'May I play through please?'

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

Call Your Office

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'Botox.'

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Working from home.

Play Ball!

Toilet Tissue Typist.

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

"This one is less distracting."

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'The printer repair guy.'

'Sorry Mr Bed-Bug, but I don't have any seedy hotel jobs available right now...'

"Woodpecker gets an office job."

The AdRams Family no.15 - Godzilla screensaver

"Al's a little careless, but he is our best salesman."

You don't have to be crazy to work here. WE CAN TRAIN YOU.

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'