Quirky Office Hero Gifts

'The printer repair guy.'

'I hope you replace your divots.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

Computer Mouse.

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

Toilet Tissue Typist.

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

"This one is less distracting."

Working from home.

"There are mysteries up here on the 13th floor. Like who keeps locking the exit door? Why is that clock always 12 minutes fast? And who actually eats the liverwurst sandwiches from that machine?"

Play Ball!

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

"Al's a little careless, but he is our best salesman."

The AdRams Family no.15 - Godzilla screensaver

Lethargics Anonymous - In, Out and Pending Trays.

"Woodpecker gets an office job."