Quirky Office Life Enthusiast Gifts

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"You have a 2 o'clock, a 3:30 and don't forget the monthly finance report is due Friday..."

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

'If he applies himself, there's no limit to what he won't be able to accomplish.'

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"Today's meeting will be endless, with a half-hour break for lunch."

Office Competitions

Suggestion box paper shredder.

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

"Well, I've taught you everything I know."

'Now that we've dispensed with minutes of our last meeting, I'd like to introduce the first item under 'new business'. I'm pregnant.'

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

'And this is where we all stopped to form an exploratory committee.'

'I can't win - yesterday he told me off for not wearing a tie and today for wearing one!!'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

Do it! Because I say so: 'I'm not sure I like the new company slogan.'

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

Out and In.

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

'Sir, the Christmas party is well prepared. We've got champagne, wine, beer, food and five canister of carpet cleaner.'

"I hate this time of year..."

Play Ball!

"While you were at lunch, Mr. Merriman took the company private and went home with it to New Jersey."

Avoid, Liabilities, Assets.