Quirky Office Life Enthusiast Pillows

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

"You have a 2 o'clock, a 3:30 and don't forget the monthly finance report is due Friday..."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

'If he applies himself, there's no limit to what he won't be able to accomplish.'

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Today's meeting will be endless, with a half-hour break for lunch."

Office Competitions

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

'Now that we've dispensed with minutes of our last meeting, I'd like to introduce the first item under 'new business'. I'm pregnant.'

"Well, I've taught you everything I know."

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."

'And this is where we all stopped to form an exploratory committee.'

'I can't win - yesterday he told me off for not wearing a tie and today for wearing one!!'

Do it! Because I say so: 'I'm not sure I like the new company slogan.'

Out and In.

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"He seized the day again. Now how do we get it back?"

'Well, that's a helluva great business plan... What have you done before you founded a management consultancy, Mr... umh... Smith?'

Exciting suggestion in 'suggestion box'.

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."

'Sir, the Christmas party is well prepared. We've got champagne, wine, beer, food and five canister of carpet cleaner.'

I'm absolutely worn out. I've been unloading pig-iron all day.

Play Ball!

Working from home.

"While you were at lunch, Mr. Merriman took the company private and went home with it to New Jersey."

'How's the efficency report coming along, Johnson?'