Office Humor Hero Gifts

You wanted to see me when I woke up?

"Someone put something rude about me in the suggestion box. Our corporate forensic scientist is analyzing fingerprints, DNA and security video as we speak."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."