Office Humor Fanatic Gifts

"You need to drop the annoying, cliched, overused buzzwords. Noncompliance will result in your being repurposed."

'I'm picketing a company on the second floor.'

'I'm sorry, Thag, but we're going to have to let you go. You just don't walk the walk or talk the talk.'

"Beverly, brief me on my eleven-fifteen duel."

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"Thank you Darren, but if I want your opinion I will hire you."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."