Office Humor Fanatic Pillows

"You need to drop the annoying, cliched, overused buzzwords. Noncompliance will result in your being repurposed."

'I'm picketing a company on the second floor.'

'I'm sorry, Thag, but we're going to have to let you go. You just don't walk the walk or talk the talk.'

"Beverly, brief me on my eleven-fifteen duel."

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"Thank you Darren, but if I want your opinion I will hire you."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."