Office Humor Fanatics Pillows

"Some people at work think you're a little to aggressive and intimidating."

"That had to be the worst job performance review I've ever had."

"Boss, a copyright lawyer would like to talk to you..."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Can do...No can do

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"And where have you previously moused?"

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'What's wrong now?'

Organization is not rocket science!

Gay Times...

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

The Rubber Ball Company

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'