Funny Colleague Gifts

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"How should we divide the teams?"

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

Bureau of the Damned

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

'Botox.'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"It means, Thank Goodness I'm Boss."

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

"The boss is mad at me. I did something really, really dumb today!"

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

'All right, who's been sitting on the copier again?'

"This one is less distracting."

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

"Wider."

'I play well with others.'

'If his old company was so great, why didn't he just stay there?'

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"