Funny Coworker Gifts

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"Whinge, whinge whinge! Would it kill you to crack a smile? It's no wonder they call you Mona!"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

Social Notworking

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

"I apologize, sir, but I'm having trouble finding a technician willing to come out and remove the insidious fire creature from your computer."

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

"This one is less distracting."

'All right, who's been sitting on the copier again?'

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'I play well with others.'

"The myth of Sisyphus fact-checked • Real name 'Manny' • 40-hour workweek • Weekends off • 'Sisyphus' used stand-ins • 'Boulder' made of papier-mâché *Actual slope"

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.

'Don't mention the piece of onion on his chin, or the custard on his tie.'

"Larry goes out of his way to get along with difficult employees!"

"I enjoy the pearls of folksy wisdom as much as the next guy, but what, exactly, does he do around here?"

'Well, there's plague in town, everyone will believe you if you pull a sickie...'

"Oh look, my cat followed me to work."