Lighthearted Coworker Gifts

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

"They got rid of 'work from home,' so I pushed for 'blanket forts from office.'"

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

'All right, who's been sitting on the copier again?'

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

'I'm leaving early cos I didn't come in so late'

Photocopying his ass was not as easy as he'd been led to believe.

'I play well with others.'

Office Crush

'If his old company was so great, why didn't he just stay there?'

"Whinge, whinge whinge! Would it kill you to crack a smile? It's no wonder they call you Mona!"

'Reading the want ads? No, they just happened to be on the same page as this fascinating story on...um...cosmetics.'

Safety First.

"Larry goes out of his way to get along with difficult employees!"

'Thank you for coming...I'll be ok...grief is the price we pay for love...'

'Well, there's plague in town, everyone will believe you if you pull a sickie...'

"Is the information fresh?"

'I'm hoping to get a rise from my boss.'

'Be careful when you inject him, the frowny face means he's a biter.'

"Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?..."

'Keep your head down! Marketing and sales are feuding!'

"This is the new 'fitness laptop.' It's so large, dragging it around is a great workout."