Office Worker With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"And where have you previously moused?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'

'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

We have a nice selection of office artifacts, a typewriter, carbon paper, ashtrays, our CEO's last handwritten memo...

"Next on the agenda: How can we crush workers' spirit, while appearing to care?"

'I have power - but it's not the kind that's easy to abuse.'

"I want one of those. He takes notes and DOODLES at the same time."

'Our CEO's philosophy is that a happy environment means a happy bottom line.'