Office Worker Appreciates A Laugh Gifts

"Is the information fresh?"

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

'Boss, it seems like a friendly text, but you've got to learn to read between the emoticons.'

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

Management Reshuffle

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

Dog to hirer: 'I'm a mongrel, and I'll work like one.'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

'Now you see, that's EXACTLY what we should try to avoid here.'

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"I've been kept on hold so often, I'm really developing a taste for easy listening music."

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Jack-in-the-Box Enterprises.

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

"I now represent both death and taxes."

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

'He's busy right now. I have to put you on hold. Would you like to hear show tunes, classical or easy listening?'

'Your good work leaves me in a splendid position. Isn't that enough reward for you?'

"It happened either over the weekend or when I left the office today for lunch."

"I apologize, sir, but I'm having trouble finding a technician willing to come out and remove the insidious fire creature from your computer."

'Any awards or honors other than bowling trophies?'

"Miss Crutchfield, have you gone mad?"