Lighthearted Workers Gifts

'I'm leaving early cos I didn't come in so late'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

At Lego corporate headquarters.

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

Desk boxes: 'In', 'Out', and 'What ever'.

"Have you been bathing in moonlight?"

'Frankly, I don't remember why I called this meeting.'

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

'All right, who's been sitting on the copier again?'

Wheels for all purposes.

Photocopying his ass was not as easy as he'd been led to believe.

"Finding $20 while on bathroom clean-up duty."

Pigeon Breeders' Association.

'Yes, some mornings I do wake up grumpy - but only if he's oversleeping'

'Have you referred to my previous boss?' - 'Yes, he wants to know when you are going to return the coffee money.'

"Larry goes out of his way to get along with difficult employees!"

"Oh, no. I brought my dinner plans by mistake."

'Reading the want ads? No, they just happened to be on the same page as this fascinating story on...um...cosmetics.'

"I may seem like a dour sort, Mr. Penfeather, but, I assure you, I can smile with the best of them when the occasion demands."

'Be careful when you inject him, the frowny face means he's a biter.'

Hiccups. Run for the cure.

A dancing beekeeper

"Says here you like to play practical jokes..."

'He only works onsite one day a month, and he accepts petting instead of money.'

'Your wife got the house and the puppies.. but I managed to get you all the buried bones.'

A Man Recieving His Wages.

"Our marriage license....expired three years ago!"

"I'm pretty sure I'm psychic...so I'm taking all my orders from Mr. Rod. 'telepathically.' So far, he hasn't asked me to do anything."

"This is the new 'fitness laptop.' It's so large, dragging it around is a great workout."

"Looks like accountants are not as boring as you think they are."

'I don't complain, when you drag me out window shopping, do I?'

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