Chatty Coworker Gifts

"Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?..."

Social Notworking

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien,"

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"You just carpe, carpe, carpe."

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'How did you cope before 24-hour rolling gossip?'

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

"This one is less distracting."

'All right, who's been sitting on the copier again?'

'It's not your work, Hannon - it's your attitude.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'If his old company was so great, why didn't he just stay there?'

'I play well with others.'

"Whinge, whinge whinge! Would it kill you to crack a smile? It's no wonder they call you Mona!"

Blah blah blah.

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'

Pneumatic seat raised through roof.