Chatty Colleague Gifts

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'If his old company was so great, why didn't he just stay there?'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"Have I complimented you on marketing's renewed team spirit?"

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

Bureau of the Damned

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

Corp H.Q. In the corporate world, do you it's what you know or who you know? Neither, it's what you know about who.

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien,"

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

Social Notworking

"Thanks for your offer, but in our company we still have a perfect information and communication system. It's called water cooler talk."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

"I hope your day is going bad."

"You just carpe, carpe, carpe."

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

"Haaaaah. . . . Back to the office. Better put on my happy face. . ."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'I didn't spend $49.95 on this answering machine to have you just hang up so leave a message!'

"Every time he elbow bumps me, he hits my funny bone on purpose."

"This one is less distracting."

"Wider."

'I play well with others.'

Jay Walking

Blah blah blah.

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'

'Don't mention the piece of onion on his chin, or the custard on his tie.'