Quirky Colleagues Gifts

"You're a double-decaf-latte man. Excellent. You're going to fit in very well here."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

Melvin likes to indulge his inner child.

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"Good to have you aboard. Now, let's meet some of the oddballs weirdos and eccentrics you'll be working with."

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

'Where's your costume and team spirit? You're not paid to enjoy yourself - you should enjoy your work!'

'Botox.'

Self-Employment

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

'Bancroft, it's time to pay the salesmen their bonuses. Would you please stop at the butchers' shop and get a few pounds of raw meat?'

'Ned taps his pencil, Jill hums and Bill whistles - form a band, guys, and take it on the road!'

"This one is less distracting."

"Lots of people have writing partners..."

'Now, now, Mancini, we all have to start somewhere!'

'The printer repair guy.'

"They say every team has a member who is suffering from mental health issues. Not this team eh?!"

'May I play through please?'

'If his old company was so great, why didn't he just stay there?'

Jay Walking

"Your vacation is over, deal with it!"

'I play well with others.'

'Believe me, McFarland, I can appreciate a man who marches to the beat of a different Drum, but you don't march, you boogie!'