Quirky Executive Gifts

Cat Boss

'As you may know, I'll retire in a few weeks but you better not think that I'm a lame duck now!'

"Damn it, Bershire, I've told you to never call me when I'm in my executive ball pit!"

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'This is impressive, Roberts, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as work-place leadership.'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"Good news, chief, a computer virus destroyed all our documents."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Joint Ventures!

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

"Would someone dim the lights? I'm about to launch into the paranoid and conspiratorial portion of my report."

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

Setting up companies

"No more Dr Nice guy"

Self-Employment

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"