Punny Executive Gifts

"I propose we put all our eggs in one basket."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"He likes it."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

I like you and I like your company!

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

'The days here are six months long... you'll love the daytrading.'

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

Cat Boss

To the grim reaper: 'You may go in now.'

Mergers or acquisitions.

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'I know you're new to upper management, Hoskins, but here we don't catnap...we power nap.'

Self-Employment

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

"Thursday makes it ten years. What do you say we renew our merger vows."

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

'We'll wait until the ex-ceo's cigar smoke clears before beginning.'

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

Hidden Assets

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .