Punny Executive Gifts

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"He likes it."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

I like you and I like your company!

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"I've got an MBA. Massive Business Anxiety."

"Is that your answer to everything? 'Chase the dot?'"

Boy in toy car talking on phone.

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

'The days here are six months long... you'll love the daytrading.'

"Jenkins, come in and pull up a bean bag."

To the grim reaper: 'You may go in now.'

Cat Boss

Mergers or acquisitions.

"Ah, Stevens—sit anywhere."

'Yea, I give away the fire. I make my money on insurance.'

'I know you're new to upper management, Hoskins, but here we don't catnap...we power nap.'

"Thursday makes it ten years. What do you say we renew our merger vows."

Self-Employment

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

'We'll wait until the ex-ceo's cigar smoke clears before beginning.'

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .

Man at important looking desk lined with quill pens gets ready to shoot one at a dartboard on his wall.

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

'Consider it a bun deal.'