Punny People Gifts

'You're a bookmaker? Gee -- a literary man!'

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

Happy Hog - Manet

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Not only have my eyes glazed over – they have turned completely into cinnamon rolls."

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

'No, I don't do much flying. I'm just here for the peanuts!'

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

"Yes, Doreen, I think I am capable of unconditional love."

Blake's Sealant.

"You see, I told you it was worth the climb! Your first 'bird's eye view'. . ."

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

"I got an order of boneless ribs, an order of jumbo shrimp, and an order of hot chili with three ice waters. What is this, the oxymoron table?"

Walk the dog.

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

"I propose we put all our eggs in one basket."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up this office, and you'll pay the price.'

Dairy. You're called "ruminants" because you chew your cud --- It's not an excuse to overthink everything.

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

'Do you like Indian food?' 'I have my reservations!'

Fish in gaol.

"How interesting, Mr Spladgeforth, we don't often see the Eiffel Tower made out of sausages!"

No, Ernie --- Female chipmunks aren't called chip-nuns.

'Bailiff, tell maintenance that I need my bench raised again.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but you have a tentative offer from Burma-Shave.

Picking Brains

"Deadly gas is escaping from Uranus!"