Fans Of Punny Humor Gifts

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'I download music from a radio station in South Korea, and I got Seoul music.'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

'I think my back is baroque!'

Cow Pat Planning

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'I can't come out and play because I'm in 'Time-Out.' Although here at Grandma's it's more like 'Time-Out Lite.' '

"Waiter! - will my pizza be long?"

'So, Harkness, I see that you have a very checkered background!'

'You're sexy when your mind is somewhere else.'

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

'See what happens when you forget to feed your pet?'

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

The one thing that drives elephants wild is sickeningly sweet elevator music.

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

Before the wheel.

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

You must be this tall to bump head on sign.

"It's just not the same."

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

'Alright alright, I was joking: I won't deliver you to a couple of mongooses...'