Fans Of Quirky Humor Gifts

'For crying out loud - will you quit grinding your teeth!'

Igloo snail.

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

OK, when we're together and we're being attacked, there's no need for both of us to drop our tails: let's flip a coin for it...

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Bless You."

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Raised by Dogs

"Fresh pepper?"

Blind man walking a tortoise.

'Hon, I'm home!'

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

So You've Cloned Yourself

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

Before they settled on water, shower pioneers experimented with a number of alternatives, including spaghetti,

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"My first video sucked. But I figure I've got 8 more chances."

"You might want to get that fly off your face."

'A bucket and pail would have been enough.'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

Scarecrow chasing Igor with a brain

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'When I found iout you are what you eat, well, I'm nuts!'

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'