Quirky Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

'There's a gastroenterologist in my closet.'

"What's up with this whole herd mentality thing?" "I'd have to ask."

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

A flight attendant reads a magazine on the jump seat and there is a bullwhip above her head.

'Need some kidneys.'

'We don't discriminate per se - we just don't hire Lyle Lovett lookalikes.'

Church Fete: Guess the sexual orientation of the vicar and win a jar of piccalilli.

'The good news is that we're going to name the disease after you.'

'Does this milk taste a little funny to you?'

'Okay, how many fingers am I holding up?'

'He's had acupuncture to cure his drink problem.'

Children Sliding into an Alligator/Crocodile's Mouth

'... left tackle, Barry Simons! And last, but not least, team drug tester Dr. Gregory Richard!'

"I'm going to have a bath. Shall I leave the water in for you?"

'Quiet Hospital Zone.'

'And finally, the Nobel prize for most toes...'

'I'm a taxi-dermist.'

"I grew it over Lockdown."

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over the over and over.

"I guess we're not in Kansas anymore. They've got levitating lounge lizards."

'I didn't know Heaven had another entrance?'

Hairstyles to hide big ears

Burning the opposition.

Compulsive Behaviour Therapy: Tread on a crack, don't come back.

"Prepare an ice bath, stat! That little timer thingy in his back just popped up."

Bloody toilet seat dispute mediators.

'I ran a computer check on you. If you'll give me the phone number of that cute babe Diane on your MySpace site, I'll let you off with just a warning.'

Igor's hunch finally pays off.

'What's new?'

Wal -Martyrs

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'It's got a message, Master. . .but I don't think we should touch it.'

'Why couldn't you wear glasses like everyone else?'

"I got a fever and - "

In case of fire break glass

Cuckoo cock in padded cell