Quirky Humor Fan Gifts

Olive Martini Guillotine

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Whoa! Half empty! Definitely half empty!'

'Yes, I am 100% positive that I didn't order a medium pizza with extra mice and sparrows.'

Bob would learn the hard way that dogs are color-blind.

'Stephen's fear of heights is particularly bad today.'

'Don't interrupt - he's downloading another song.'

"Upper right seven buccal filling.. Upper left.. "

'What's our ETA?'

Potatoes.

"Spin your partner round and round, then spin your partner round again, spin her round six more times, now touch the light switch near the door."

"Whatever it is, it's very, very little."

'Okay, pal -- time to give something back to the community.'

OK! Hands up all those who know what this is?Learning the hard way.

'You shouldn't worry. Aside from the duck bill and the eggs, you're a perfectly normal mammal.'

Wine Factory

'It's probably nothing.'

'It's all right.. he's a trustee.'

"No. You're not going crazy... You just need an outlet."

Anyone for tennis?

'I worked at the Cloning Research lab. I was replaced by myself.'

Staff Picks

"So, what's new?"

'I've combined the DNA of a sheep and a manatee, creating...ewe-manatee!'

"You work in a lab! So you're some kind of scientist?"

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

'I subcontracted the platypuses.'

'Oh great! Now I'll have that song stuck in my head all day.'

"I'd just as soon it wasn't cut into those funny little pieces, if you don't mind."

'This is my five-gallon pin.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

"We did everything we could."

'Yes, it's not often you see them in the open.'

Hot cross buns

Obsessive Compulsive Clinic.. Obsessive Compulsive Clinic ..