Quirky Humor Fans Gifts

'No, no, you're looking for the school counselor. This is Guy Dance.'

Cow wash: 'You missed a spot.'

Surgeons prepare for the world's first loopendectomy. Objective: Remove that part of the brain that plays the same snippet of music over and over and over.

Bucket brigade delivery.

Fruit Fly Photo Albums

Redneck Jacuzzi

'Oldest living turkey? I'll see if we have that category.'

'Cream?'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

Anal retentive bums.

Castaways Not Welcome

"You fool!...You've given him the abnormal brain of a criminal!"

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

"Frankly, I don't know why more people don't think they're, Wellington. After all, he won."

Balloons!

"Talk about playing hard to get! She won't let me bite her on the neck until after we're married."

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

Quasimodo's Belfie

"Ignore it - it's probably just a mirage."

Apple Tree Dispenser

"HEY! We have a hiccupper!"

'All those ads kept saying, 'Just do it.' So I did.'

Norman's Early Years.

"The plunger makes it easier for the lord to rapture us."

Exercise yard: 'It's windy this morning!' (Arrows on uniform all blowing away).

101 uses of a dead cat: swing.

Fuanaholics - Boozed budgie,paralytic piglet, plastered playpus, tanked terrapin, legless lemur.

'The one in the middle is kind of cute!'

'Dang! Oh well, I won't have to feed him for a year now.'

Choosing a dog "Oh he must like bruseel sprouts, cause I don't."

Mime artist in library.

Last Words Cemetery: Manual Shmanual. . . I'll figure it out.

'Hi. Do you want to dance?'

'I love what you've done with the place.'

He's practising for his slot standing on the plinth not saying anything next October