Quirky Humor Appreciators Gifts

Two Fly Cowboys about to fight it out using Insect spray.

PIZZA FOR CATS

A vampire preferring to use a napkin when sucking blood.

igloo smoking zone...

'Do I detect a slight accent?'

'I was taking my usual nap at the laundromat, and a nearsighted woman washed me!'

'It feels like smoke. is it smoke?' - 'I haven't given to you, yet.'

Simply bored to tears, please help.

'I'd like 2 pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other one with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Magician at vets with rabbit with no ears.

'A pink slip? Do I get fries with this?'

Eskimo with goldfish skating in its bowl.

'It's strange, it's like he's keeping track of something.'

Limbo Champ Exit

Cat evolution

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"Fresh pepper?"

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'