Quirky Humor Appreciator Gifts

"My client seeks damages incurred as a direct result of your interpretation of what constitutes naughty or nice."

Doctor delivers sonogram results, which include the baby's sex, his claustrophobia, his taste for trashy women...'

'I thought you're going to put the coffee on.'

'George, are you SURE this is the seminar we signed up for? I haven't heard a single word about managing cash flow in a small business!'

"Why the silent treatment?"

'We've got bats.'

Street sweeper cleaning up music.

Pianist.

Repossessed Properties.

Chicken Man.

'Quite frankly, Mr. Bayliss, you've got us baffled.'

Identity Parade - Smoker.

To catch a feeb....

"The forecast said it was going to be light rain."

"We're making progress."

Sleeping octopus.

Cow chewing bubble gum.

'I was deep in thought, following my wife, when she stopped suddenly...'

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Anteater with INOUT boxes.

"...I bet she's had a facelift."

"Of course I'm a poor driver, Janice, I have monocular vision and therefore, limited depth perception!"

"And of course there's the conspiracy theorists who believe aliens are already here amongst us..."

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

Cheesie Rider

Mummy Shrink.

"The doctor said to cut down on your caffeine...it's boiled shoe polish!"

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

Human and cat both have litter covers.

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

"Three goals in five years and you're no spring chicken anymore... well, we sold you to someone who was very interested."

' Tom-you got it all wrong.You are supposed to grow a twelve inch beard and one inch spurs.'

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, but getting dressed is a fantastic idea.

At the very first drive-thru Contact Lens Cleaner Hut

"High Fashion"