Quirky Humor Appreciator Pillows

"My client seeks damages incurred as a direct result of your interpretation of what constitutes naughty or nice."

Doctor delivers sonogram results, which include the baby's sex, his claustrophobia, his taste for trashy women...'

'I thought you're going to put the coffee on.'

'George, are you SURE this is the seminar we signed up for? I haven't heard a single word about managing cash flow in a small business!'

"Why the silent treatment?"

If chickens had lips...'Thank God! I made it to the other side!'

"The groundhog saw your shadow, idiot. This'll probably bring on the Ice Age."

Street sweeper cleaning up music.

"We're making progress."

"The forecast said it was going to be light rain."

'We've got bats.'

To catch a feeb....

Identity Parade - Smoker.

'Quite frankly, Mr. Bayliss, you've got us baffled.'

Chicken Man.

Repossessed Properties.

Pianist.

Cow chewing bubble gum.

'I was deep in thought, following my wife, when she stopped suddenly...'

'Freudian slip '

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Anteater with INOUT boxes.

"...I bet she's had a facelift."

"Of course I'm a poor driver, Janice, I have monocular vision and therefore, limited depth perception!"

'I see ol' bug-eyes is back.'

Sleeping octopus.

"Serious drinkers recommend hanging on to the maraschino."

Cheesie Rider

Mummy Shrink.

"The doctor said to cut down on your caffeine...it's boiled shoe polish!"

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

Human and cat both have litter covers.

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

"Three goals in five years and you're no spring chicken anymore... well, we sold you to someone who was very interested."

"And of course there's the conspiracy theorists who believe aliens are already here amongst us..."