Quirky Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"The doctor said your cholesterol is a little high, but everything else looks normal."

"Can you increase its range?"

'This takes the guesswork out of choosing the site for our new headquarters.'

"This is not working. Can I go back on the valium?"

'Well, my Cecil always loved to think 'out-the-box'.'

'Good news...the rattling is not in your lungs.'

"Another alternative is to freeze you until some future insurance company would pay for your medical procedure."

"Good afternoon Sir. I was just passing and couldn't help wondering if you might be considering new double glazing?"

Cleaner dusts the letters of a book.

Barry Manilow explores new directions and finally connects with his target audience

Freudian Slip.

Size differences aside...it's that cheesy 'manufactured' smile that makes it so easy to pick a fruit fly on a GM diet!!

Your perfectionism is starting to get on my nerves.

'I told you at the start - this drug is still in the experimental stage.'

Trick or Treat during pandemic.

"It looks a lot like him, but he would never have worn a tag on his toe like that."

From the Department of New Age Medicine: The First Artichoke Heart Transplant.

"Okay, your story checks out. You're not a Peeping Tom, you're just a creepy real estate appraiser."

'As you can see, it's a bit of an emergency.'

'It's rock hard this water-bed of yours.'

'I just don't understand why our Buy One Get One Free offer on coffins isn't popular!'

Ahhh, the delights of hot fizzy cow urine!

A snake with human legs.

"I've never had a relationship with you! I've just had 465 one night-stands with the same person!"

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

Short shelf life...please help!

"Alright, now see what happens when you turn the faucet off."

Reversibull: 'Well this is awkward.'

'Everybody, but Jake's horse, was glad he'd given up smoking.'

'And over here is our product testing department.'

'Taxidermist? No, no...I consider myself a 'tax enthusiast.' But I agree that I captured his essence, and he looks very natural.'

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Free Mattress.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Fred got his Neti pot at a garage sale.