Quirky Jokes Appreciator Gifts

A planet like ours - "Oh no, last time we got romantic, I ended up having to grow a new head."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Astral Projection

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

What's an Imax cave?

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Laughing Zone Ahead

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

He wanted a different one.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Can I have flies with that'