Quirky Joke Admirer Gifts

Ew, I look terrible! Take one more!

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"You left this on our ship."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Blind man walking a tortoise.

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Astral Projection

Introducing...Anagraman.

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

'Check out the old dude.'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

He wanted a different one.

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).