Quirky Comedy Admirer Gifts

'I tried to follow my bliss, then she got a restraining order.'

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

"I won't be at work today. My feet are stuck in a tub of cement!"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

'Can I have flies with that'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

Toenail clipping missile.