Puns And Humor Enthusiasts Gifts

"So Teddy's peaked too soon again" "Cut him some slack Chet, he's got a headache!"

Opticians' sign set out like an eye test.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

"They're comfortable."

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tunnel of Love/Lover's Leap.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Unemotional Support Animal

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Stairlift around cliff face.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Twenty Six

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

The First Fire Stick

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"She wishes to range free!"

Raised by Dogs

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

'I love it when you spoon me.' 'I love it when you fork me.'