Puns And Humor Gifts

'See what happens when you forget to feed your pet?'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'I download music from a radio station in South Korea, and I got Seoul music.'

It's not a stampede … It's a flash mob!

'I think my back is baroque!'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

'I can't come out and play because I'm in 'Time-Out.' Although here at Grandma's it's more like 'Time-Out Lite.' '

"Ugh...I hate tailgators."

"You want mechanical engineering down the hall. This is maniacal engineering."

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

'There's a gentleman here for a cleaning, Doctor. It's unclear whose.'

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

'And when they were only half the way up they were neither up nor down!'

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

HisssssHerssss....

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

Early Greek Humor. I love Aristotle, but oh, Eu-clid!

"And this is Paul - he's in charge of our TikToks..."

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

Before the wheel.

'Alright alright, I was joking: I won't deliver you to a couple of mongooses...'

"Avast - it's Mobius Dick, the one-sided whale."

"No Alex, The answer isn't Posh Spice."

TV Dinners: 'Antenna, cable, satellite dish,'

Headless Man

'Cheetah!'

'I didn't realize you were literally going to wear a little black number!'

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

'I'm from Australia, the land of hopportunity!'

"Late, as usual."