Puns And Humor Pillows

'See what happens when you forget to feed your pet?'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'I download music from a radio station in South Korea, and I got Seoul music.'

'I think my back is baroque!'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"Ugh...I hate tailgators."

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

'I can't come out and play because I'm in 'Time-Out.' Although here at Grandma's it's more like 'Time-Out Lite.' '

'There's a gentleman here for a cleaning, Doctor. It's unclear whose.'

'And when they were only half the way up they were neither up nor down!'

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least we're not wine coolers."

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

Before the wheel.

HisssssHerssss....

'Hold this til Tues and I'll pay you back, squid pro quo.'

'Alright alright, I was joking: I won't deliver you to a couple of mongooses...'

"Avast - it's Mobius Dick, the one-sided whale."

Headless Man

TV Dinners: 'Antenna, cable, satellite dish,'

"No Alex, The answer isn't Posh Spice."

'Cheetah!'

'I didn't realize you were literally going to wear a little black number!'

'I'm from Australia, the land of hopportunity!'

"Late, as usual."

"Dog star"