Puns And Humor Lover Pillows

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"Merry Christmas"

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

Full System Scan

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing the future.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"I see you ladies are admiring the Tuscan Blue."

The static electric eel is very rare.

'You give me goose bumps!'

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'