Puns And Humor Lover Gifts

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"Merry Christmas"

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Frank, you had to get a second job? I should have read the fine print on that investment that guaranteed I'd "clean up"!

"Think about the honey."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'And in conclusion...'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Beer Van and Ice Cream Van

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

Full System Scan

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

'You say you're having trouble seeing the future.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Sorry, honey, I used up all the sunblock. How 'bout we cover you in mayonnaise instead?"

"I see you ladies are admiring the Tuscan Blue."

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

It's not a stampede … It's a flash mob!

The static electric eel is very rare.

"Your four-o'clock is here."

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

'Honey, you still look like a 10 to me...'